The beauty of trees

As we began our trip late Sunday morning I had an overwhelming sense that this was going to be a trip I would never forget. It was gently snowing the roads  clear and Cody and I were both rested and relaxed. Something we have not really experienced taking this long of a trip before. We drove for about an hour and during that hour I found my self staring and wondering about all of the trees I was passing by. I mean there were hundreds of thousands that my eyes just scanned over. I began to see them in a little different way. Now I know that none of them are, were or ever will be people. However God showed me something so beautiful in those trees, so here let me tell you.

Each tree stands bare and leafless in this cold place, yet each one with a story. Snow has blown into each nook and cranny outlining some of the most intricate curves and bends. Some holding a lot some holding only what could be a handful of snow. Some of the pines droop on one side because of all of the snow that hangs on each branch, but at the top of each there is barely any snow to be seen.  Little homes are exposed as well as the dead parts. The great trees that have fallen are more noticeable now. Up close you can see the scratches and breaks they have endured. Each tree with a story of life threatening storms and diseases that have come and gone, but each one still standing has an untold glory within.  All of this surrounds us as we enjoy our cozy car ride and beautiful worship music. Then God speaks to my heart these trees are like my people. Even in the midst of the dead winter there is still so much life in each of those trees. They are storing up their energy for the big unveiling in the spring when the moist air warmed by the sun begins to open up this kinetic wonder. My heart bounds with joy and waits in anticipation for the beauty and the glory of God that he put into motion so many years ago. Listen all of you beloved, just as the wind blows into the trees so the Holy Spirit moves in, on, and around us. But you have to sit and ready yourself to see it. This winter is not meant to depress or make your heart hardened but to ready you and give you rest for what is to come.

Our trip was progressively more enjoyable, such a blessing for the both of us. As we neared our destination we prayed for our visit and asked God to do some mighty things in my family. We arrived hours later to a warm house with pups barking and cats scurrying around trying to find a good spot to scope Cody and I out as we enter the house. My dad jumped up in excitement and my stepmom sat composed and reserved on the couch, but bubbling over with joy on the inside, that we had finally made it home. Her ducks were home, safe and sound. We sat for a few minutes and then Cody, my dad and I left to go up to the other house where my sister lives. We pulled in and saw Jenna standing at the sink doing her dishes from dinner. We opened the doors and the dome light came on, we tried to hurry up and get out of the car to turn the light off, and quickly made our way to the door. Cody and I ducked while my dad made his way to the door to greet my sister. My dad opened the door and we couldn’t contain ourselves, we stood up and with big grins on our faces said “surprise”. A big smile came over her face, it was beautiful and priceless. Then I look and there is my brother, in the flesh and ready to give me a hug. I couldn’t believe it we were all together, at the same time. This doesn’t happen… but it did this Christmas. Even know my heart bursts with joy and gratitude for this precious time. We said goodnight to Jenna as she had an early day ahead of her working at the pharmacy, but we stayed up late with Jimmy talking about our hearts and beliefs and wrongs and rights. As we settled down to catch up on sleep I take a moment to thank God for making this happen. He knew what I needed.

Our visit was short and sweet; we got to spend two days with Jim and our evenings with Jenna. We visited with my dad and stepmom in the in between moments of running into town and going back up to the house to make dinner. Two days before Christmas we packed up to head out. Jim was already gone by this time and we got to see my dad one last time before we headed out. We said our goodbyes looking forward to our next visit. We get in the car and the tears roll down my cheeks…thank you God for all that you did. My heart is full and my spirit open and waiting in anticipation for our futures and when we will all cross paths again.

Cody and I now on our way we are determined to make this a fun and stress free ride, and we did. We made silly movies and took pictures of random things we thought were note worthy. There was a short time where I was really irritable but then I found a bathroom and some food. All was better after that. We made it safe and sound back up to cozy little Levering Michigan where we found warm beds and the comfort of long-awaited embraces. Our brother and sister we hadn’t seen in a long time were there as well for the holidays, as well as their new addition to the family, Emma Frost. What a sweet heart. We got to see the rest of the family and had a wonderful time. I made latte’s for everyone and surprisingly enough most of the family now loves Starbucks. Our christmas was filled with joy and laughter a true blessing…

We headed back up to our humble little hole in the wall in Marquette MI. The whole drive was spent mostly in silence, it was beautiful. Peace, and wonderful scenery to pass the time. Once we reached our destination the unloading and unpacking commenced. It didn’t take as long as I thought it would because we brought back more than what we left with. All in all it was an amazing and truly memorable trip. I learned a lot about life, family, love, and myself even. I am so grateful for the grace and blessing that God has put on my life. This year was so much better than last year, and I pray that 2010 is even better. If life just keeps getting better and better despite its losses and gains I want to live forever. I am so grateful that I get to because of what Jesus did for me.

My wish for this new year is that I grow even more in love with Jesus, so much that people might think I am weird. I want to abandon all fears of what people think and I want to pursue him. I want to live. So let the storms come and let the winters expose all of my flaws. Jesus…come spring time I know all will be well because of you, and in summer ever abundant fruit….all for your glory.

Pure heavenly magnet

There are many things that have happened since my last entry. Some big, some small, and all of them have been as the potters hands and shaped me yet again.

Last night my husband and I watched the IHOP Awakening there was a testimony about a young man asking for people to come to know God on his birthday, well the awakening broke out two days before his birthday yet he was righteously dissatisfied with what he got, people were being woken up but people were not necessarily being saved. So he went home and to make a long story short he went to get ice cream at Walgreen’s and 4 people came to know the lord and then were laid out by the power of the holy spirit. This young man praying for these people was just like me! He had history, he makes mistakes, he doesn’t do everything right. But I realized last night that he had something I didn’t. He has the understanding that he doesn’t have to do anything but be an open vessel and love the lord. I have to press in to encounter the love of Jesus for me to know that I don’t have to do anything but allow him to work in me and through me. A constant willingness and boldness is what I crave for my life. I don’t want to think twice, I barely want to think at all when I open my mouth to share about the living God that loves so dearly his beloved bride.

As I cried out for there to be a renewal of the spirit here on Northern’s campus I realized that I was also crying out for a renewal or more accurately an awakening to the Love of the Father in my own heart. I didn’t ever realize before but if we only read the bible we are missing out on the depths of relationship that our hearts cry out for, reading the bible is like reading the love letter your dad wrote you and having him sit in the same room with you but you never engage with him. It is good and pure and the written word and it truly is the breath of God, but if thats all you do is sit and skim over the word everyday and you don’t actively seek the presence of God you miss out on the depths of his love. I want the depths….as deep calls out to deep……my soul cries out for his presence.

I have realized for so long that I am afraid to get into the presence of God because I am afraid of what he will really think or say about me but his love never changes and neither does what he says about me. I have to remember that he never ment for me to fall the way I do, so I have to let him make it right and know that he knows, and realize that the sin I commit does not cancel out any of the holy spirit in me….greater is he who is in me, than he who is in the world.

I am calling out for the lover of my soul, the lover of the deepest part of me, my savior…..my friend. I pray God that you would pour out your love and give me and everyone else an encounter with your love for us. We truly need to know who our Father is and know where we come from…what we are made of.  I long to be with you.

I don’t need my job my job needs me!

Have you ever watched those documentary’s where we humans are view as some science project? You see people scurrying on a busy sidewalk in their business suits and designer clothes, and those in hospital scrubs and messenger carriers with headphones and bike shorts on. Do you ever get that those are real people? I mean when I look at that stuff I am totally disconnected to the fact that those are real people who have real emotions and feelings, and that they all have life and family, and jobs. It doesn’t really ever hit me. But today God finally gave me a different perspective. He let me see out of the narrow spectrum. For such a long time I have viewed my job as the thing I am dependent on because it is the place I go to work so that I can get money to pay bills and do things. I scurry around like a mouse searching for cheese.  All I want is a nibble, I mean really I just want some sense of purpose instead of anxiously chomping at the mere aroma of cheddar or mozzarella.  How dumb is that?! Most of you are thinking…its not dumb its reality…right?! Well usually I would agree but God has a significantly different view on jobs. You see our God is the God who created everything. Now really, I want you to stop and try to think about something that wasn’t created by God?! If he is the God who created everything and moves everything and can do ANYTHING….and I am his daughter THAN WHY IN THE WORLD DO I LIVE LIKE I AM HELPLESS AND TRAPPED and that I have to work for stuff?!?!?!?!!?  He is my freaking DAD!!!! He didn’t give me a job because I needed it to survive in this world he gave me a job so that I had something to do while he provided all of the things I needed and even some of the things I want. God is so deep!

He showed me through so many things that my  job is not only to cultivate and teach me but it’s to be around other people so they can see who my dad is. So they can look and say hey can I have what you have?!!? Of course you can!  For once I saw my job not as a little box that I am chained to, or a science project where I am observed and tormented by the overwhelming promise of cheese, but then never getting even a nibble. I have a job so that I am forced out of my house, so that I interact with people. I have a job because if I didn’t have one I would sit in the Palace of my God and king and would bask in the glory that he says is for me because I am his daughter. Well lets face it that is what I would like to say I would do but to be honest I would get lazy. God doesn’t want lazy kids, lazy kids don’t get Gods heart, neither do the scared ones. God’s heart if you see it…..if you ever seek it out enough to see it….it is beautiful. It is so deep. You can’t even fathom its depths just like eternity. And when you see or when you get to see a glimpse of God’s heart it drives you. It becomes the sole force propelling you to do anything. It’s not sacrifice its passion! So many brothers and sisters sit thinking they are not entitled to this passion because it is God, and that they can’t go to him and ask for something like that…but that is a lie and you fall into the trap of false humility aka pride!  And it eats away at our very being It makes us cowards and bitter. He clothed us in rags so that we may be able to reach other people. And as we are dressed in rags we do not take on the identity of those around us, we are not defined by our rags but what is in our hearts and who our heritage comes from. We are dressed in rags to disguise ourselves amidst the brokenness. But joy comes in the morning because I know I am one day closer to being home…..my home, my place of refuge, my resting place is the Kingdom of God. I can’t wait to be with him, but for now I will live life the way he shows me to live it…..free. I am not caged, I am not chained but I have been sent out from the palace to show those in the mud how to live like kings and queens, and to share the wealth of the knowledge and love of God.

I am free. I am choosen….I am commisioned…..I have a purpose…..a mighty noble purpose……I am free.

Looking through tears…

As I stood in silence with a faded voice in the distance I noticed an energy coming from within me. I got up and looked around, it was dark and there were lights reflecting from the outside through the amber glass windows. It was raining outside and the water moved and danced and tossed its partner, light, through the air and into graceful movements of sways and bows. The reflection of light off the water and through the glass warmed my heart, and captivated my spirit. I started to cry as its beauty mesmerizing my eyes, my heart filling with joy and a wonder so much greater than I could ever describe. God did this, my heart whispered, he did this just for me, to show me the glory and beauty of his kingdom. I know heaven will be so much greater but there are moments and memories that I gather here that make this place so beautiful in its simplicity and depth. I love this place, and I love heaven more. As tears continued to fill my eyes I saw a beautiful fusion of tears, light, reflections and God. I thought for a moment I wonder when I look through my tears if I am not seeing bits of heaven. The light dispersed through the lense of tears covering my eyes I see things differently, light looks softer and as if someone took a paintbrush and softly pulled the light further out from its source. At the same time the light is dancing off the water moving outside from the rain drops falling ever so gently. God is with us, his beauty is all around us. The tears in my eyes ever so beautiful and fully of wonder and awe I wondered again is this a bit of heaven, will I be able to see everything through this soft golden lense, will I be able to see my father this way? I wonder if this is what Jesus saw as he looked to heaven? A hope in my heart swells as I realized the depth and simplicity of my moment with the ever-living God. He met me as I was walking out the door, about to run some late night errands for a friend. He captured me and showed me himself. He is so deep. He is so loving. He emptied me, because I asked him to, and then he filled me up, because he knew I wanted him to. I love God and I love loving him.

T-bones steaks and things to do…

There are so often things that I don’t understand. In the past few days I have been rocked beyond belief, and given so much hope for my future and so much peace for where I am at in life. Whether it be about jobs, babies, homes, God, or life in general I am at peace. However, amidst this still calm water there is something God wants to purge from this soul. Just recently my husband and I had a conversation that, to say the least, was not to my liking. I mean I so loved the sharing aspect of the conversation not so much what was being shared I guess.  As the words trickled out of my husband’s mouth and into my ear something jerked inside of me and before I could even blink my eyes there was a target on him. Now I am not talking about a physical target but a spiritual target, I had my sights on him and I wanted to light him up. See one of the things I learned growing up is that you don’t get mad you get even. In this case I wanted to get over-even and retaliate with words that were of equal or possibly even greater value and sting to my husband. Each day that I am married I find I know less and less than what I thought I knew. I mean what happens when you find out that the one person that you love with all of your heart, soul, and mind…the one that you were joined together with to become one flesh and one body, is also the one that you have to protect……..from yourself? You see I appreciate and I love when my husband tells me things from his heart but when it puts me in a place that makes me look any less than perfect my defenses go up, and they don’t just stop there. After my defenses go up my  inner army begins to rally and I strategize my retaliation. At this point I have to make a choice…do I give the go ahead to my troops or do I stand back and humble myself and allow my less that perfect reflection to be refined by a burning fire. I have to make a choice.

This is the point in my life where I feel like I have lacked the most discipline. I admit it friends, I am a chronic self preserver and really don’t like the painful process it takes to cut off this bad habit. However today was different. If nothing more it was the day I refused to send my troops in retaliation. It was the day that I stopped and realized that maybe he could be right and maybe this is just the pain I need to go through to realize a greater truth. If I seek God out in this pain then He (God) will prove faithful to refine me and to show me where I can do better.

I choose NOT to retaliate against my husband because I love him, because I respect him, because I love his heart and I love hearing about it….even it is at my own expense! I want to know without a doubt that when an outside enemy comes to attack me he will be my ally, he will be my back up! We were made to stand side by side in this war we fight….not against one another. I think about the kingdom of heaven and how frustrated God must be sometimes with us down here. We have such a hard time not fighting with one another we forget who the real enemy is. We think about ourselves too much and we don’t trust the people or person who would die for us with out a question.

God put me with my husband, my husband chose me over any other woman, I am both blessed and honored to be called his wife. I love him because I choose to believe in him and his heart.

I got shot in the eye with a tomato and learned something deep.

K so to summarize (I know it’s a shocker) I was sifting through the many grape tomato that I have in my kitchen from my garden. I was looking through them to see which ones were red and I found a molded one. I pulled it out so that it wouldn’t mold the other tomatoes. As I grabbed it, I grabbed it too tightly and it ended up shooting me the eye. Now I will admit I tried to shoot my husband in the face with the tomato but it backfired…as usual. So to summarize when you find a moldy bad sin don’t try to squeeze it yourself. Just hand it over to the big man and he will dispose of your unsightly rottenness.

Job…new insight, or maybe not.

So as I was talking with a dear friend tonight  and something came out of me that I never knew I knew… We were talking about a previous converstaion I had with a friend earlier and I likened the situation to Job. And I recal so many times in my life that when I thought that my life couldn’t get any worse…I pictured myself like Job. I mean he was so torn up and so physically messed up after everything that had happend to him. And we look at it from our perspective and we say man what did he do to deserve that, and we liken ourselves to him at his worst when we want to pitty ourselves….but….what if, just what if God allowed all of that to happen to him because God had SO MUCH faith in Job that through all of that he knew that Job was still going to give God all the glory. It sounds simple and that is exactly what the scripture tells us but it hit me differently tonight. When we go through trials of any kind it is not God getting mad at us, punishing us or anything like that but it is God saying I have so much faith in you that you will come out of this and still say that I am God.

Momma I’m so proud to be like you…

This could be one of the hardest topics of my life so far. My mom, for so many years was someone I couldn’t figure out, nor could I figure out my feelings about her. I knew I was told I had to honor her but how do you honor someone you don’t know if you respect? How you do you respect someone that is making poor decisions that are inevitably effecting your life? Well I have struggled with this for a long time and just recently God showed me how.

A few months ago I really started asking myself and God what is going to happen to my family. Will I see them for the rest of eternity or is it just for a few more years. I know about my sister and my Grammy but I don’t know how real everyone else relationship is. I mean I know they have some what of a relationship but I just wonder about them…..you know? I wanted to know what was/is going to happen to my family. My parents, all 3, being big on my heart  at the time I started asking God questions about their hearts and he showed me some things…and those things I could only contend for in prayer. It was so frustrating not approaching them and asking the questions I had. But God told me that even if I did asked them they couldn’t tell me why, or how. So I trusted that God knew best and just prayed for them and their hearts.

The hardest part for me is knowing that they all know about Jesus and what he did but they are believing so many other lies that he looks completely different through their distorted glasses. One feels abandoned, one doesn’t think they really need Jesus and the other is so scared to say yes…all of these based on lies and so they see Jesus this way. It breaks my heart and I just want to run into their houses and yell at the top of my lungs….JESUS LOVED YOU FIRST HE STILL LOVES YOU AND WANTS TO KNOW YOU SO BAD…..and when I am yelling it at the top of my lungs right in front of them….they get it…and they love him back and it is beautiful. They don’t know what they are missing, they don’t know what is ready and waiting for them if they just say yes, if they just realized they need him…if they just realized that God never left them. They don’t know who they are.

God has graciously answered my question… why do my parents act the way they act and do the silly things that they swore they would beat us kids for doing?  He said,”Because they don’t know who they are to me. Your parents are my kids too and they just don’t know that I am their father and they are my beloved.” I want to tell them who they are…….but even if I did I think they would call me crazy and talk their way out of the biggest life changing descision of their life.

However I know that God has chosen them, he loves my family and wants them to know him and his heart for them. If you are reading this and you are my family I hope you got that…..God loves you more than you could ever know.

Along with these deep moans in my spirit for my family to know the living God I know he has also taught me about who I am and my inheritance from them. Mainly between my mom and I. The other night he showed me something to revolutionary to my spirit that I just burst open with love for my momma. God showed me that the many years I swore that I would never be like my mom I was also saying that I didn’t want anything that my mom had to offer. That meant my inheritance as well. About two months ago now I went to bring something to my mom’s storage unit and while I was moving stuff around I noticed a stack of books all nicely piled on one of the many bookshelves we have. Container gardening, gardening in northern Michigan, affordable homes, herbs vitamins and minerals, closet organization, and floral arrangements for all occasions. Now if any of you know my many endeavors this passed summer you would know that I either looked into or actually did some of those things. My first thought after looking at that single stack of books was WHERE THE CRAP IS MY MOM!!! By the time I drove myself home God had showed me that my inheritance is not just spiritual but practical everyday inheritances as well. And that those gifts serve a purpose. God has began to unfold in my life that all of those things are going to be a big part of my life and that they will be bring much fulfillment to my life. I truly believe that my mom gave those gifts to me without ever even knowing it. She gave my sister and my brother very similar gifts. I mean these were the gifts that were there for us to choose what to take for ourselves. It was jaw dropping for me to see that for so many years of my life I could have been learning straight from the teacher and now I can’t because we are so far apart.

God told me the other night…”Johanna when you said you didn’t want to be like your mom, you meant it, but that ment I couldn’t bless you with the gifts she gave you.”  He then said, “I gave you those things in common with her so you could bond with each other and have things in common….but you were created in my image.” I was stunned, my heart opened like a flood gate and I realized how much I put my mom through. I spent so many years saying I didn’t want to be like her because of lies I believed and because of where I was in life. I was confused and messed up inside and the only person I could blame was her because of the decisions saw her making. Yeah she made poor decisions, but so did I. Yeah she believes a lie, but so did I.  The enemy used my hurt to judge my mom for what she was hurting for.

I am so grateful for my  mom and, I can even say, some of her mistakes. I sure learned a lot and saw parts of my moms heart that to this day no one knows about. She is a caring, loving beautiful woman. She has so much passion and  justice written all over her heart for the broken and the hurt. She is determined and protects her own to the end. She is lovely and God sees her and says she is good. No matter what she has done or hasn’t done she is still his daughter….she is still his treasure….she is still his priceless one. I love my mom and I am proud to be of her and walk in her shadow.

Mom if you ever read this it’s all true, I love you so much and I am so proud to be your daughter. Your heart is so beautiful…thank you for all of the gifts you gave me. Thank you for opportunities of wisdom  and perservierence, for love and support, for guidance and structure, for cleaning up my messes and teaching me how to take care of a family, for teaching me hospitality and kindness to everyone I meet, Thank you mom for your passion and drive to carry on…thank you…..thank you.

You are a saint…you just don’t know it yet.

Jesus….the nerd you feel sorry for…

So I realize that the title to this blog is slightly offensive. In fact typing it and leaving it was a bit of a challenge for me. However I think that statement is true for many people.  I feel like so many people have forgotten or just don’t know who God really is or who his son is. I am learning a lot about God’s heart and how much he really loves. And tonight I heard him say “they see me as a nerd and they feel sorry for me”. So many times I have seen people go after God because of what he can do for them, not what they can do for him. It is funny how we have that mindset. I mean he already gave us a ticket out of hell when we believe and accept his son and what he did on the cross. Then most of us get ticked when we think he left us or we say that God abandoned us. But what really happens?? What really happens when people feel like they are lost and God is no where to be found. Sometimes its just because they think God is supposed to be working for them ….and not the other way around. So we get mad when he doesn’t give us the winning lotto numbers, or let us have the job we want or the car, or house……or life!!!!   When we say yes to Christ in a sense we become slaves…but even in the scriptures it says no longer do I call you slaves, but I call you friends. So what what happened…that means we got something free (our ticket into heaven)…then instead of being slaves which is what really should have happened we were called friends…and then something even more crazy is that he calls us sons and daughters!!!!!!! WHAT!!!!! So how do we go from being scum of the earth slaves and needing a ticket out of hell to being called a son or daughter of God?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

easy……………………………………..we needed help…………..he loves us …………he helped.

Simple enough for you? I hope so.

He did it because we need him not because he wanted to do us a favor so that he could be accepted. He let his son die so that you and I could have an opportunity to spend the rest of time with a loving and caring and ever joyful God….not a nerdy science kid that looks lonely. Get your perspective straight peeps. Jesus died to give you something you didn’t deserve, not something your entitled to just because you breath.

I know this was a bit blunt and maybe even borderline radical christian like of me to say these things. However, I really believe that people don’t really have an accurate perspective on who God really is. I mean HE created the universe and everything in it. He created the person who had the thought (That God created) to make the very shirt that you are wearing!!! He made it all!!!! So why do we look at him the way we do. Why do we put ourselves above God. Do we not understand????? ….I know I don’t really understand. But I really really want to. I really want to know who God is and know who I am in relation to him. If he is a king and I am his daughter…then I am a princess if I am so…then how do I act towards a king? How do I speak…how does his character affect mine…and knowing that I am dwelling in his palace how does that afftect me and the way I live my life?….I want to know

A video camera and red tea

So I got a nugget the other day from God. He actually started the nugget with my co-worker and shift supervisor Megan B. Now Megan has just been promoted not too long ago and when I found out about it I was not happy. I was more feeling like something was wrong with me, like I wasn’t promot-able or that I would never climb the next stair. Well I was called out by God when he said why are you seeking affirmation in your work place? I was stunned and didn’t realize that even my reasoning for not wanting to talk to my boss about it was even seeking affirmation in work. God gently showed me that my affirmation about who I am needs to be from him and only him, because this world doesn’t reflect who I am or who I will become.

So as I talked with my new found shift supervisor (who is by the way doing a wonderful job and making great progress), she told me how she coops with our daily stresses and frustrations…..”It’s not personal, it’s just business.”  I realized at that point that sentence did not compute. I don’t know what it’s means to be business like….everything is personal! At least that’s what I thought. Not only did this reveal an incorrect thought process it also showed me the millions of walls I have put up to protect myself. I mean think about it…if everything is personal…then essentially I am always being attacked. So I form my thoughts about who I am and how I should be through my worldly glasses of misinterpretation. I have believed lies about myself for too long and have stated that I am things that I am not, and have refused to state things about myself that are true, or that will be true.

While driving home from work today I figured out that life is not about me. It’s not personal it’s just business. I heard God tell me that in this life telling people about him and what he did for me is not about me at all. Yes it severely effected and changed my life. However, it’s about him. I knew that when I heard that in my heart that for most of my walk with God I have thought it was about me, and how I always had to be on my best behavior around other people. Especially those who don’t believe. But it’s about him and what he did. It’s in a way like a new pair of shoes. If you bought the best pair of shoes and everything about them was aweosme…the style, price, comfort, the fit…if it was all more than you wanted wouldn’t you want to tell people about those shoes. With passion and conviction in your words, wouldnt you want everyone around you to have those same pair of shoes!!! Not because you want everyone to look like you, but because you want them to have the comfort, financial blessing and pain free lifestyle  I now walk in everyday! You would tell people about those shoes….right? It’s not about the person who wears the shoe but it’s about the shoe. It’s not about me it’s about Jesus.  It’s not about how I walk in the shoes…it’s about how he lived. It’s not about the price….it’s about what he did. It’s not about how you make them look ….it’s about how they make you look and feel. It’s not about us its about Jesus! He died for everyone, not just for me. So I can’t be selfish I gotta tell people…Jesus loves you. He doesn’t love you because of how you make him look good….or how you justify what he did…because you can’t. He did it for us….for me………………..for you. It’s nothing personal, it’s just business.

(Luk 2:49)  And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist (consider) ye not that I must be about my Father’s business?

I have come to find out that with Jesus along side of me I love learning about who I am and I like myself more and more each day. I am finding that I have more capability to do things I never thought I could do. I learned the power of declaration over my life and choose to take what God has freely given me.